The very real story of a very fake band
Infernal Racket, the very real band (that I made up), is releasing some albums this year. The husband and wife duo's sound comes from using nontraditional instruments like a leaky faucet or a washing machine. They were predicted to be a breakout act that was until absurdity struck.
For their debut single "Wheelie/Deathray" Infernal Racket sampled the "Kenmore 28133 5.3 cu. ft. Top-Load Washer with Exclusive Triple Action Impeller ®". Infernal Racket didn't get legal permission to sample the "Kenmore 28133 5.3 cu. ft. Top-Load Washer with Exclusive Triple Action Impeller ®". Kenmore takes their intellectual property very seriously and sued Infernal Racket and took "Wheelie / Deathray" off shelves of record stores everywhere and into their trash cans.
10-inch EP promotion
Due to the ongoing lawsuit Infernal Racket wasn't "legally allowed" to record their next E.P. "Cheap Trax". As a result the band promoted the album through cryptic posts on their social media. This way they could only advertise to their true fans and do it for free. Secret messages, written in the font "Bookshelf Symbol 7", were posted on their Instagram and could be decoded to reveal coordinates of places you could buy the album, lyrics to new songs and non-sequiturs like "this one means nothing."
The judge ruled in favor of Kenmore and that Infernal Racket would have to become Kenmore's official band. As a result they must only perform at Kenmore corporate events and be limited to Phil Collins covers. That was however until they released their full length debut "Deluxe Noiseless" which was universally panned. This caused Kenmore to drop the group. "We don't want to be associated with a band Pitchfork considers 'simultaneously sophomoric and pretensions.'" said a Kenmore exec. What's next for Infernal Racket, who just became parents last November. Jon say's "A break. Then maybe we'll do an album that just samples the weird noises our daughter makes."